How to: Be More Virtuous (with the Help of a Drunk Nudist)
In the spring of 2018 I was living by myself in a small apartment in Beijing. I was twenty-six years old and rapidly approaching what would be the largest professional and financial success of my life, to a degree I couldn’t imagine, but I felt completely empty. Whether or not my work was fulfilling or my day-to-day activities brought me happiness, there was a hollowness in my heart that was slowly crumbling up toward my head. My actions lacked buoyancy and my sails were filled with muffled winds.
I felt ‘less’ so I sought to become ‘more.’ I set out to not just improve myself but strive for some manner of ‘perfection,’ which meant less a search for a faultless life than to find a worthy fire to fill my inner cave.
I’m relatively quiet and introspective (growing up, some of my classmates referred to me as a ‘monk’) so the idea of silent self-analysis isn’t really all that daunting to me. But I was at a loss of exactly how to go about improving myself. I am by no means perfect (as you will learn) but my diet and exercise routine has always been pretty healthy, as well as my general work ethic and creative spirit. I looked to the future, trying to envision a life that I might want, but quickly discovered that I was not alone on my quest for personal development, and found guidance from the past (actually arriving to the party hundreds of years late).
At the age of twenty, Benjamin Franklin set out to become some version of ‘perfect.’ He laid out thirteen metaphorical stepping stones in a circle, each designating a specific virtue he wanted to pursue and ‘perfect.’
A ‘virtue’ is a habit or quality deemed to be ‘morally good.’ Morals are a tricky thing to base your outlook, behavior, or opinions on as they are, well, almost inherently subjective. There are common moral values that all cultures and periods of history share, like condemnation of murder or gratitude for holding a door open for another, but it is very dangerous to assume any one virtue as having an objective positive or negative value (that’s religion’s role).
But in 1726, Benjamin Franklin attempted to whittle down all of the different avenues by which he could cultivate his character to as few metrics as possible. He finally carved these concepts into a simple set of Thirteen Virtues. Franklin would focus on one virtue a week, analyzing and measuring his progress in his journal, before moving on to another virtue the next week. The wonderful thing about having thirteen virtues to track is that there are fifty-two weeks in a year, meaning you can cycle through the list in exactly four times a year, returning to the top at the beginning of a new quarter.
Franklin’s unique brilliance was essentially unparalleled at the time, but his behavior was just as eccentric. He drank, often, noted as saying, “Wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy!” He was, what we would now call today, a bit of an exhibitionist, indulging in frequent nude ‘air baths.’ He was quite frank in promoting matters of sexuality and hedonism. So his path toward ‘perfection’ by way of ‘virtues’ was bound to be a difficult one. By his own admission, he may have occasionally or even often failed in his efforts but he believed that the effort he was consistently making was worth it. And he was right.
I felt the framework he laid out would be a worthy experiment, and I also often took ‘air baths’ in front of my apartment window to an accidental audience of railroad engineers down below, so I already felt a bit of kinship with Franklin.
On May 20th, 2018 I opened fresh eyes and cracked the spine of a new journal, setting out along the stepping stones he placed before me. If you’ll grant me the time, I’ll walk you through how I did in my quest for enlightenment, graciously displaying legitimate and insanely-melodramatic entries from my journal, as well as let you know what twists in your path to watch out for.
1. Temperance
“Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.”
Temperance, in this specific context, means to restrain oneself from excessive food and drink. It means not having a second or third helping of a meal, not pouring yourself another glass, and not chasing your reflection to the bottom of the bottle to the extent that you don’t remember it the next morning.
An easy way to practice temperance without starving yourself is to simply cook just a little less or to order a meal one size smaller at the drive-through. Do you really need a Large or would a Medium suffice? I’m an American, which means that I don’t like anyone telling me what to do, but obstinance and insubordination aren’t so woven into my genome that I’m unable to tell myself when enough is enough.
As a virtue, Temperance is not all that difficult for me. Ever since I was a child I’ve had a pretty extreme fear of being overweight. I’m not sure exactly why, but I would imagine it’s some psychological aversion to being ‘anchored’ or encumbered. As a result of this phobia, not only do I live an active lifestyle but I don’t often find myself in situations where indulgence is an option. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have my fair of struggles and days which I consider to be a ‘fiasco’:
Week 40 — Temperance — Day 4
Failure. It’s okay to eat a few eggs more than normal, they have protein. But I had three slices of bread and a ton of chicken tenders. Again, like a child. And, because I had that many chicken tenders, I drank a ton of water, so it’s likely that I’ll weigh more than average tomorrow morning. I did run on the elliptical again after dinner in an effort to improve my results tomorrow but we’ll see what comes of it. Nevertheless, objectively: total failure. A bloated mess. With nothing but pizza and spaghetti on the horizon. Not good.
I like to be unpretentious with my meals and there’s no food more humbling than chicken tenders, but such silliness is not the merit I’m trying to illustrate for you. I don’t struggle with self-esteem, but I am not nice to myself in my assessments and I wouldn’t encourage you to be either. Everyone sees themselves as a nice person with good intentions, but in assessing your development there is no other metric to measure by than action. If you eat or drink too much, to the point where you knowingly regret acting against your previous intentions or self-interest: whip yourself. If you don’t, no one else will.
Sometimes Temperance may fall on a week with a holiday. Thanksgiving usually falls on my Temperance Week and I may not over-eat but I don’t really restrain myself either. I don’t see much virtue in refraining from familial celebration, so long as it isn’t a common occurrence.
During the initial COVID-19 quarantine I was living with my parents and we had pizza every Friday. I’m a relatively slim young man: I can eat an entire large pizza by myself. And I usually did. These Fridays were marked ‘Failure’ in my journal but I allowed myself that negligence because to not partake with my family in that manner would be damaging to the moment and bond we were sharing together (because we’re Americans and ‘eating pizza’ apparently counts as bonding). What makes a virtue a ‘virtue’ and not a ‘rule’ is measuring not just faithfulness but context and discretion. Whip yourself, but be nice; don’t make a religion out of yourself. Don’t let a dogma crap all over your stepping stones.
2. Silence
“Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.”
This is a simple virtue: if it doesn’t need to be said, don’t say it. My man Ludwig Wittgenstein had an more poetic way of putting it:
“Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.”
To practice Silence doesn’t meant that you need to refrain from all conversation whatsoever, but to at least attempt to make every word you say actually matter. Don’t reflexively reach for “So, how about this weather? Can you believe it’s snowing in Colorado?” in conversation with your neighbor. Don’t be so afraid to have a substantive conversation and be even less afraid of shutting the hell up if you don’t have anything to contribute to another’s life through your words.
Practicing Silence is an exceptionally easy matter because there’s a simple way to measure the necessity of your speech: obviousness. Never in your life would you utter to another human being, “Hey, the sun is out” because that would be an outrageously obvious observation that would not need to be remarked upon. So measure your words on a scale of “The sun is out” to zero and try to only speak about things that are closer to the less-evident-to-the-naked-eye. (Note: a by-product of this measurement is becoming a better writer/poet, which never hurts)
I’ve always been quiet, Silence isn’t all that difficult for me. My parents would often return home from parent-teacher conferences with smiles and recount what the adults at my school had to say about me, “He’s such a good student but he never talks! I wish he’d speak up more in class.” I was the same way with my friends, usually earning some variation of “Jesse doesn’t talk much but when he does it’s just the right punchline at just the right time.”
But, again, reading confident entries wouldn’t be all that helpful for you in your pursuit, so here we go:
Week 2 — Silence — Day 4
There was little to say today. I spoke to (redacted) in brief messages, never more than two at a time. I communicated to (redacted) only through written word. I said only four words to the food vendors at the mall. I spoke to myself more than anyone else today by a wide margin. Is it unhealthy to talk to oneself? I’m not sure if that is something to address or not, whether it would improve ones health or not.
Week 28 — Silence — Day 6
What would you have me say? A quiet boy, a quiet day, spent writing by himself. If this were the case every previous day on this planet, then language wouldn’t have even been invented. Instead of chasing inspiration I’d be sitting in the frost waiting for an antelope. It’s all the same.
Week 54 — Silence — Day 7
Success. Good conversations with (redacted) and a new acquaintance, (redacted). Made both young women’s days better. That is the goal.
When I note my failures of Silence, it’s usually some variation of “I spoke too much to a confidant today, leaning on them too much. Ranting and raving, blah blah blah.” But my true failures usually come in the form of staying too Silent, holding my tongue too tightly and not contributing to whatever conversation I find myself in.
Over the last two years, Silence has been one of my ‘better’ virtues, but in monitoring and analyzing my practices I’ve found more opportunities, instances, and contexts to speak up and share my thoughts while learning how to hold my tongue in the company of those funnier, smarter, and with more to say than I.
3. Order
“Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.”
Think of it less as ‘order’ and more as ‘organization;’ this is the virtue of planning and prioritizing your day. In modern life it is very easy for work, play, pleasure, and pain to all bleed into one another; it would behoove you to learn how to better segregate your activities and intentions from one another.
Benjamin Franklin himself actually popularized a little aphorism that you should adopt into not just your Order week but the rest of your days as well:
“Failure to plan is planning to fail.”
Like many other millennials, my career largely consists of freelance and gig work. I’ve always been a bit of a self-starter so I don’t necessarily struggle with planning and executing my intentions, however I am susceptible to letting my distractions derail an entire day:
Week 42 — Order — Day 1
Absolutely not, a total failure. Not one I feel bad about though. I played Civ V for a few hours. Woke up around noon too. Today was a day to not do anything and I did pretty well. I suppose I should have squeezed in an hour or even thirty minutes of productivity though. I shouldn’t ‘suppose’, it’s quite obvious that’s what I should have done. I’ll keep at it, progress is measured by the calendar, not the clock.
I barely play any video games at all anymore, severely decreasing my intake since I was a teen, but Civilization V has absorbed apparently 1,758 hours of my life over the last decade. I rationalize this ‘sunken time’ with the knowledge that it’s a largely educational game, relevant to my interests in history, culture, and politics, but it doesn’t change the fact that it can be addictive and push away tasks that I actually need to accomplish (for the record: I can’t remember the last time I played, most of those hours came from 2013–2017). As much as I enjoy learning about the nuances of Assyrian diplomacy or Byzantine religious culture, I don’t need to indulge when I have a couple screenplays to write.
Order, for me and in my life, comes in the form of writing out a simple bullet journal at the start of the day, listing the tasks that I hope to accomplish. I’ll typically add just one more task than I think I’ll be able to get to so that when I finish I know that I am definitely allowed to do whatever I want for the remainder of the day. So long as the day is Orderly, the night need not be bound.
4. Resolution
“Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.”
In this case, Resolution is a double-edged sword. You need to have an antenna pointed at a general sense of ‘duty,’ enabling you to be actively aware of what your obligations are. But this virtue also carries with it a minor burden: the promise to yourself that you will complete whatever action you set out for.
Notice that I didn’t say that you must ‘succeed’ at whatever you try or that you must ‘know’ exactly what it is that you ought to be doing. Again, these virtues are meant to be guiding lines, not walls that restrict your thoughts and behavior.
To be Resolute means to give your desires a good ‘thinking-over’ and an honestly complete effort. One must sit and ponder, if just for a moment, “What could I be doing, right now, for tomorrow?” And then one must complete one-hundred-percent of whatever that minor action is, so as to not waste the effort and dilute the result. What use is it doing ‘almost-all’ of something?
Resolution, in a grand sense, could refer to a long-term goal or a dream you might have, but it really doesn’t need to extend further than just a daily practice. “It is not my favorite activity in the world, but it would be best if I cleaned the toilet today. And it would defeat the purpose to only clean ‘most’ rather than all of it.”
Week 56 — Resolution — Day 7
Barely a success, almost pyrrhic. I stumbled and wallowed in my laziness for quite a long time today before ‘bucking up’, jumping on the horse, and obliterating those feelings of preciousness and apathy. I accomplished more than I thought I would, so no matter how much laziness the day saw, surpassing expectations and goals set can only be a success.
I struggle with the first aspect of Resolution, the process of making sure my antenna is pointed in the right direction. Don’t get me wrong, I always make the effort to look, but it’s an inherently-fallible process. To know what one ‘ought’ to be doing is really only apparent in retrospect. Where you’re going, on any particular journey, often isn’t clear until you get there. I can’t say that every place I’ve ever ended up was where I necessarily wanted or needed to be.
However, I am very good at the other aspect of Resolution. I was raised to never quit or accept failure, to a fault. If I begin something, finishing it is an absolute inevitability. Knowing how to ‘strategically retreat’ from something if need be is vital, but I always make sure to cross as many bridges as possible before I accept that conclusion. Many people in my profession struggle with finishing screenplays and I can honestly say that I never have. Getting on the horse and getting started? Sure, that can be tricky, but once I’m out of the stable then it’s as certain as the laws of space and time that I’ll finish writing that dumb screenplay about the talking dog who has to save Christmas.
5. Frugality
“Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.”
To be Frugal is simply to be mindful of how far you’re stretching your dollar. It’s a measurement of impulse: do you actually want that little flashing light or shiny rock…or are you just bored? Frugality is the balance of the money you spend and what value the goods and services you’re paying for are truly providing you.
An old proverb states, “A fool and their money are soon parted;” in monitoring your money through the lens of Frugality not only can you retain your wealth but your wits as well. Think twice about each penny you spend and inscribe the word “Why?” on one side, if you can’t inscribe an answer worth etching on the other face then you probably shouldn’t say farewell to that coin just yet.
Of all the virtues, Frugality is probably my greatest strength. I don’t spend money on anything. I was raised on thrift store clothing and well-thought-out meal plans. My family wasn’t poor with a capital P, we just never succumbed to the pretentiousness that comes with spending; it was about the principle of the purchase. “Fifty dollars for a backpack? Just to carry around your books? No. This one’s twenty, make it last all year.” And I did. My parents loved me and spoiled me in other ways but it was understood that a heart really can’t be bought. A childhood of watching every dollar instilled a sense of Frugality in me that I don’t really struggle with.
I never buy the first run of any tech product (the laptop I’m typing this on is wheezing and whirring as if it’s powering an entire aircraft carrier). I usually only buy generic-brand groceries. I’ll usually look for the section in the back of the grocery store where they keep the soon-to-expire goods and save money that way. I look for coupons online. I buy in bulk. I may not have a billion dollars but I sure don’t bleed it away the way that most do, and in instances where I do feel finances draining away, I’m quick to recognize it:
Week 44 — Frugality — Day 5 and 6
I don’t know. I traveled from Denver to Hong Kong. In the morning I paid five bucks for a muffin and in the evening, well, I spent two hundred dollars on a woman. One hundred would have been fine.
Dating in Hong Kong is expensive, almost as expensive as airport breakfasts. But this entry highlights the other important aspect of Frugality: do not pinch your pennies when it comes to doing good deeds for others. What you consider to be a ‘good deed’ is dependent on the action and your relationship with the person in question. The overpriced muffin pointed me toward failure, but the spending of money for another’s happiness could be called some degree of a success. The young woman in question didn’t forget that evening, so I’d argue that imparting some joy into another’s life via money carries a complicated merit.
I won’t spend a dime on myself but I will carpet-bomb a romantic partner with sentimental gifts. Notice how I specified ‘sentimental:’ to award someone an expensive gift simply for its worth is a waste, you aren’t being Frugal nor doing good in any sense by indulging them or yourself in this way. The heart cannot be bought…but the potholes toward affection can be smoothed over a bit. I will buy those that I love the flowers that they love, take them out to the restaurants they love, and spare no expense in making sure their experience with me is unencumbered…but I don’t allow money to influence my individual experience to the point where I’m reaching for dollars that are no longer there. “Hundred-dollar sushi?! A can of tuna is like fifty cents! Oh it ‘tastes better?’ What, two-hundred times better? Is this meal going to make your life two-hundred times better? Give me a break. Yeah, we’ll take two Chicken-of-the-Seas and a sunset please.”
Perhaps you’re now beginning to see the divinity that comes from having a chicken tender budget. If not, I still have eight more virtues to win you over.
6. Industry
“Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.”
To be ‘industrious’ in the modern age is both a high aspiration and a dumb redundancy. When you go to bed at night, it’s likely that your sense of fulfillment is tied to that day’s accomplishments and rest probably finds you easier on nights when you know that dawn and dusk were separated by meaningful tasks.
All of us are ‘busy,’ but if you were able to perform a liposuction on your day-to-day activities, sucking out all of the needless distractions and fruitless anxieties, you’d see just how many hours you’re wasting on endeavors that aren’t necessary nor even important to you.
Industry is tricky for me. I do not get writer’s block, ever, but there are days when the words simply float to my fingers and others when I have to wrestle them from the mud just to squeeze out, “What if a dog could talk? In this movie — get over here — Chris Kringle, Father Christmas himself, is unable to find Rudolph…” I don’t have a job where I can just switch to auto-pilot and coast through the hours, collecting a paycheck in the process. No, if I don’t think of something interesting then I don’t get paid. So you’d think that I’d be really good at staying Industrious. Yeah, you’d think.
Week 32 — Industry — Day 1
A failure to such an extent that I can’t help but laugh. No, I spent hours and hours working on software on my phone. It will make each day about 0.1% more productive, but today was far from industrious.
To be fair: my phone had destroyed itself and I had to buy a new one while preparing to travel to another continent for an important pitch meeting. But this whole exercise of analyzing yourself is not supposed to be fair. Week 32 was the week of Christmas, and it always is for me. Doesn’t matter: every box on the calendar has the same dimensions.
Industry means keeping an eye toward the vocation of your life, to monitor the validity of your actions toward an overall ‘happiness.’ Industry doesn’t necessarily mean, “I worked eight hours today, which pays for my rent and food, but then I spent three hours of free time doing absolutely nothing in particular.” No one is asking you to write a novel in your off-time or find a cure for cancer, but Industry is the measurement of advancement that you squeeze into your time.
7. Sincerity
“Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.”
Oh, Sincerity is a fun one. Half of it is completely immeasurable and the other can be beat to death by confirmation bias.
We can turn to Zoroastrianism for a tidy little aphorism :
“Good thoughts, good words, good deeds.”
The logic in this little cosmological bumper sticker is the implication that good thoughts in the mind become good words in the mouth, which can lead to good deeds from the hands. So, in order to plant a ‘good’ seed and end up with the flowers of a ‘good’ deed, we must think good thoughts and express ourselves in good ways.
Sincerity is very difficult in the twenty-first century. You might be cultivating a ‘brand’ on Instagram and it wouldn’t do you any good to be genuine, lest your followers see you as some embarrassing degree of imperfect or unsuccessful. You might project happiness as a defense mechanism, or so that others might not feel as depressed as you do. The car in front of you may take too long to make a left turn at the traffic light, leaving you to wait in traffic a little longer. In each of these, you might find your little inner voice grinding its teeth.
This is not a ‘good’ seed. It’s roots will anchor you to unhappiness, regardless of whatever splendidness comes your way. I struggle with this. I look at life as a bit of a battle, so if something doesn’t happen according to plan or especially contrary to my plans, my little voice begins to stomp his feet:
Week 46 — Sincerity — Day 4
I don’t know. [redacted] is a disrespectful little creature, it’s hard not to speak poorly of him, or feel ill-will in his general proximity. I think [redacted] and I were mostly on good terms with the world today. I wasn’t too kind to our Airbnb host, but he was unbelievably disrespectful to us. I gave him a more favorable review than he deserved. I think it’s enough of a success to, well, mark it as a success. I guess.
Remember that pitch meeting I mentioned earlier? Well, someone sabotaged that overall project for their own benefit. I don’t think I’ve ever referred to anyone as a ‘little creature,’ which is embarrassing; clearly I wouldn’t refer to this as a successful day in retrospect. But I was in Los Angeles at the time, a city known as “the least-sincere hellhole to ever exist,” so maybe I was just succumbing to the behavior of the locals.
Of course you have every right to feel strong emotions, negative feelings can be just as valid as positive ones, but there comes a point where indulging even the presence of cynicism is like throwing a tea party for the landmine you’re about to trip over. Sincerity is difficult because it means downright assassinating that little voice in your head as soon as it rears its ugly head; it’s dirty work but you’ll be all the cleaner for it. Think of it like Whack-a-Mole if it helps you sleep better.
8. Justice
“Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”
The most brilliant minds to ever exist have been debating the meaning of Justice for thousands of years, but sure, let’s define it in a couple dozen words so that you can think about it while you take a dump before bed and not constipate your cognizance.
To be Just means your actions fulfill at least one, but hopefully both of the following requirements. The first is that how you behave and operate should not bring harm to another. Exploitation or negligence fall under this category. The second requirement of you is a bit trickier: you must understand the obligations that come with each action or indulgence that you adopt.
For example: let’s say you have a romantic partner. This person has an individuality and life of their own, but in making some sort of agreement to be ‘together’ you have obligated yourself to them in regards to regulation of your behavior. I had a girlfriend who was really struggling with her piano practice one night and asked if I’d go out and get her some ice cream. I might be ‘close’ with friends but friendship doesn’t bring with it an implied ‘duty’ in the same way this relationship did. Without protest or hesitation, I stopped what I was doing and went to go fetch her some ice cream; it’s not like this was a burden nor was it some job that I was given: this was a task somewhat inherent in the agreement that we both ‘signed,’ right there on the dotted line; we’re together, we help each other. She played a beautiful melody after a few minutes with some encouraging Neapolitan, so we both benefited from the other’s company.
This manner of care can be applied to the second requirement of Justness; being attentive of the needs of others is a duty in and of itself. I’m a film director and when one is placed in a position of leadership like this, one of the absolute bare-minimum aspects to monitor is, “Is my team okay?” I remember filming in Beijing one very hot summer and, after reflecting on how much of my bodyweight I’d probably lost in sweat, one afternoon I looked around at the rest of the crew to see all of us were panting like dogs. So it became customary to go for an ice-cream run around lunch and reward everyone for a good morning, as well as giving them a boost for the afternoon. This wasn’t an idea forced by the producers, the money to purchase the cold treats didn’t come from the budget; it was the Just thing to do, looking out for others and to think to look out for them in the first place.
Week 21 — Justice — Day 5
I definitely exercised Justice today. There has been an unspoken issue festering between (redacted), the crew, and (redacted) on the set these last few weeks. I was informed of the falling morale by both (redacted) and (redacted) this week. Today, after speaking with (redacted), I barely-but-still facilitated a talk between (redacted) and (redacted) as to our workflow deficiencies. I know not of what they spoke of, but I did take the initiative to seek out (redacted) during lunch, the minute (redacted) told me about a sour moment in the previous setup. I did my duty, I feel. I was not nearly as proactive or assertive as I’d like to be, but it is a step in the right direction.
The primary role of a a director is not to ‘create art’ or ‘lead a team based on your visionary imagination’, it’s just babysitting. To be Just is to realize when your babies need a nap, when to let them play, and when to burp them. This is the same of any other profession or relationship you might have. Justice is the exercise of knowing what ‘must’ be done and doing it without being asked. Go buy some ice-cream and burp your babies, honey.
9. Moderation
“Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”
In this context, Moderation exists in a different form than you might recognize it, not meaning “Don’t eat a lot,” as Temperance already covers that base.
To be Moderate means to be balanced. Don’t mistake this for neutrality, it simply means to adjust your mindset to a balanced one. The key aspect is to avoid dwelling on things for longer than you should. This is very tricky, as it takes practice to learn how long you ‘should’ dwell on something.
Moderation is extremely difficult for me. My last name is Stewart, which means I make ‘stew’ing on something into an ‘art’form. I like to think of myself as not being resentful but the truth is that I absolutely have an incredible capacity for holding on to resentments, slights, or misunderstandings for years. It’s not that I actively think about it, but I still remember an unkind thing I said to one of my classmates in preschool. I’m often stung by regret, which isn’t so often a bad thing as it’s an indication of growth (by it’s nature, to regret something is to understand that you’ve grown out of past behaviors or habits), but I do dwell on things. I should have said this to that woman, I shouldn’t have done this to that man, and they really shouldn’t have done that to me.
But Moderation also means to control your actions in regards to their intensity. Is it okay to sit on the couch and read all day? Sure. Is it okay to do that all day, every day, for years? No. Pizza for dinner? Why not, even if you go a bit overboard. But every night? No. I like to run, and usually knock out a 5k a few times a week. Is it healthy to do this every single day without fail? To some degree, but it’s also likely to lead to fatigue.
Very simply: This is not a matter of telling yourself “No”; to practice Moderation is to Moderate, or to ‘preside over and control the intensity of.’
Week 22 — Moderation — Day 6
Moderation has absolutely kicked my butt this week. I think I was too impressionable? I don’t know. I didn’t have this problem when I could govern myself in China. I keep telling myself that it will get better when I go back home and can exercise more. I hope this is the case.
I had two helpings of lunch and two helpings of dinner. Coming from the man that’d have two cucumbers, two mandarin oranges, and a small thing of dinner each day…this is entirely too much. I want my abs back.
Have you ever met someone so overly dramatic in your life? Geez.
This entry is an example of a complete failure in Moderation, but not for the reasons I wrote. This was written during a film production where I would finish a long work day and then go run for five miles. I absolutely could not divorce myself from the idea that I wasn’t following the same eating habits that I did a few months earlier, living a writer’s life by myself, and had therefore ‘lost my abs’ as a result. I was failing to Moderate my expectations. I saw myself as impulsive and weak-willed, rather than hungry-as-hell-because-I’m-working-long-hours-and-running-long-distances-on-a-relatively-empty-stomach.
To practice Moderation is to allow the moderator inside your head the space and credibility to tell you what to do, to both punish and reward you to the degree that you deserve it.
10. Cleanliness
“Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.”
Cleanliness is just as simple and inconvenient as it sounds: be tidy, you disgusting slob.
Often, we can find ourselves anxious and uncomfortable in life, even in our own living spaces. This is likely due to clutter and disorganization, causing the brain to work overtime to process the lack of cohesion and coherence in a space. The mind relies on pattern recognition and environmental cues, so surrounding oneself with disarray is likely to cause the same inside the conscious mind.
In seeking to be more Clean, your primary goal shouldn’t necessarily be to shine a surface to the point where you can see your reflection, or sterilize the life out of a space. No, the simplest objective you should be striving for is creating environments in which the Lady MacBeth Effect cannot take root. The Lady MacBeth Effect is, essentially, the psychological tendency for those that feel shame or embarrassment to attempt to literally clean away their dishonesty or discomposure. It is a nervous reflex that many have: when life goes wrong and we feel small, we resort to cleaning. In reality, life is more likely to go wrong in environments that are already unclean because they are unclean.
Week 49 — Cleanliness — Day 6
Success. Cleaned out a bit of my dresser drawer, finding treasures from over a decade ago in there and promptly throwing them away. Living simply, minimally. Trying to, at least. Someday. I did just fine, vacuumed upstairs as well.
I do actually miss the discipline and ‘alone time’ of mopping my apartment in Beijing. I get it now, the books and movies about the monks who will clean things routinely and claim that it actually benefits their lives beyond vanity or compulsiveness. I get it. It’s a type of meditation. I get it. I’d like to have a little space, a studio apartment, and do the same again. Live simply and calmly.
But for now, and for this week’s virtue: success. One more day and I’ll have a perfect week! Which would be nice, making up for last week.
Oh my god, I forgot how much I loved mopping. That’s how you know you’re getting old. When I was a child, I used to love pranking my family by pretending to vomit on the kitchen floor (filling my mouth with soup or juice beforehand and making some disgusting sound, “Bleugh!” and letting it splatter all over the floor, afterwards laughing like a maniac), little did I know I’d find just as much enjoyment in cleaning tile later in life. Who knows, maybe I’ll return to my roots someday.
Cleanliness can be a struggle. I’m not the best at it. Some weeks are a slog, my living space may be tidy but maybe I haven’t shaved in too long. Or other weeks I might be as clean and pure as the day I was born, but my room might look like someone tried to stomach my entire dresser before spewing it everywhere. “How’d this get on the ceiling fan? I can’t even reach that high. Wait, this isn’t my underwear.”
11. Tranquillity
“Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”
Tranquility is applied patience. It isn’t ‘zen’ or ‘enlightenment’ or even ‘calmness.’ You don’t need to go to some undisturbed valley in the wilderness or ancient shrine. It’s all very simple: just bend over, reach down, and pull that stick of accumulated anxieties and agitations straight out of your miserable little butt.
I had a ‘revelation’ sometime last year, one that came embarrassingly late in life. I heavily prioritize speed and efficiency in all that I do, attempting to optimize my actions. “1+1=3” is the goal in anything and everything that I attempt. This is a ‘noble’ ambition but an ultimately intangible one, as life is chaos and any attempt at external order is bound to be thwarted. But this didn’t stop me from growing just a bit irritated anytime I couldn’t tie my shoes fast enough. As I’ve said, I run a lot, so the process of securing my footwear is an often annoying daily obligation. Then, as if I had the brain of a child, one day it ‘dawned’ on me: what if I just tie my shoes a little slower?
In my mind, the process of tying my laces could be represented by x = y*t , with y being the tightness, t being the time taken, and x being the overall success rate. The goal would be to tie my shoes as tightly and quickly as possible. Well, because I am an impatient child, I would always heavily prioritize finishing the process as soon as I could. Speed was everything. This led to tangled laces and frantic frustrations, “Why is this little thing such a big deal?!” I’d plead to my sneakers, much like Hamlet holding Yorick’s skull but without any of the poetry and infused with a bit more petulance.
Then, one day it ‘dawned’ on me: if I were to slow the rate at which I attempt to tie my shoes, it would probably lower the entanglement rate exponentially. For every second I went slower, I might save two seconds in the overall process. So I tried it, and, lo and behold, it worked. It took me two decades longer than it should have, but I learned what every preschooler learns in their second week of class: “Just sit down and relax! Quit embarrassing me!”
Tranquility is both very easy for me and an eternal struggle. Someone broke into my car the other week, but I wasn’t too phased, “Ah, what is life but a fleeting glance at peace.” But when the journaling software that I was using to document my calmness crashed, I was pissed. I have a terrible tendency of putting the cart before the horse, the result of a life in which most of my un-Tranquil ambitions have been rewarded. I stress and worry about everything and most of the time it pays off in spades and I’m lauded with, “Wow, I thought we were done-for! But you just thought of everything, didn’t you?” This is permissible behavior for a boy or a teen, but it’s a bit tiring to be so ‘on’ all the time (not to mention unnecessary as well).
Week 76 — Tranquility — Day 3
I was indeed Tranquil. The weather was not so good on the way to the airport and I did not fret. The plane to San Fransisco was delayed to a problematic degree, and I did not fret. Even when truly faced with missing my second flight, I did not fret. Success.
On October 29, 2019, just about everything went wrong. I was flying from Denver to Hong Kong for a meeting. The snow in Denver caused extreme flight delays, heavily threatening my ability to make my connecting flight in San Fransisco. It was a big, important meeting, the kind you see in movies. If I missed that connecting flight, I’d be stuck in the San Fransisco airport for at least twelve hours (without my bags) and not get to Hong Kong in time at all.
But I didn’t care too much, I wasn’t even worried. If I didn’t make the meeting, it’d be pretty bad. But what was I to do? Go outside and shout at the sky, “Stop snowing!” Go tell the de-icers how to do their job? Command the pilot to fly faster than the plane is capable of? Make everyone on that flight to Hong Kong wait just so I could waltz my way to the gate?
More often than you would like to acknowledge, you have absolutely no control over what’s happening in your life. So when the sea gets stormy, just float. That rip-tide you swear you’re feeling is probably just gas.
Not a single braincell of mine was worried on that whole flight to California. The minute they opened the door, I sprinted from one concourse to another at an Olympic pace. All my years of running paid off. 1+1=3. I had flown in and out of that airport so many times that I knew exactly where to go. And I made it onto the fourteen-hour flight just fine.
But when I got to my hotel in Hong Kong, I couldn’t check in yet. I was ‘too early.’ That might be worth getting a bit annoyed at, right? The pointless irony of the universe? Nope, I simply thought, “Oh, that gives me time to walk around that cemetery that I’ve always wanted to check out.” I could have let my impatient nature ruin the morning and my meeting, but instead my efforts toward stability and calmness were rewarded with a sunrise stroll around the Hong Kong Cemetery, one of the most beautiful parks in the world.
This sense and understanding of Tranquility was instilled in me by a film I had seen earlier in the year which became one of the most influential of my entire life: 冈仁波齐 (Paths of the Soul), a story of Tibetan villagers on an arduous pilgrimage into the Himalayas (I would strongly encourage you to watch it but the pacing will probably test the average viewer’s patience). There is one specific scene in the film that absolutely blew my mind, I won’t give it away, but the degree of patience that the characters displayed was so unfathomable to me that it left a permanent imprint on my psyche. “If they can put up with that, then I think I can tie my shoes like an adult.”
12. Chastity
“Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.”
Ah, Chastity, mmmm…I, uh…I do not like Chastity. Not my most favorite week, the Chastity week. Hmmm. Not a fan.
Chastity, for the sake of brevity, means ‘keeping it in your pants,’ sometimes literally but mostly mentally.
I remember being three or four years old, riding in the back seat of the car and seeing woman in short shorts walk down the sidewalk, and thinking, “Oh, I get it: girls. Yep, that’s what I like.” To this day I can remember she had orange shorts, a purple shirt, and curly brunette hair. She was probably twenty-something, and being ogled at by a toddler who had absolutely no conception of sex beyond seeing people kiss on TV, but I thought, “I’ll be taller soon, we can make it work.” So Chastity has always been a bit of a struggle for me. And it can, occasionally, be a living hell for a romantic partner I might have. “Sorry babe, can’t come to bed; some wino flying his kite in a thunderstorm a couple centuries ago said I should take the week off.”
To be Chaste is not to be innocent, naïve, or ‘virginal’, it simply means to relegate sex to the relative importance that it should have in your life. This can be a pretty subjective and hard to define, but you’ll know when you’ve been un-Chaste. If sex ever forces you to compromise your other virtues or distracts you from what you ought or even would like to be doing, then you should exercise some degree of restraint.
Week 77 — Chastity — Day 3
Had sex today. I could have gone again, but didn’t. So that’s enough of a ‘success.’
Perhaps you can tell by my curtness that I do not like Chastity, but I can acknowledge that monitoring it and measuring my successes and failures has made me a healthier and more well-rounded person. In this specific instance, I remember quite clearly that I could have stayed in bed and gone toe-to-toe for a few more rounds but that I hadn’t eaten at all that day and that I had a screenplay due in a short amount of time. So I simply tipped my hat, “I’m sorry ma’am, but I got chicken tenders and a talkin’ dog to see to. Feliz Navidad.”
Chastity doesn’t mean to refrain from masturbation or sex, but to simply not allow these indulgences to dictate your day. It’s exactly like Frugality but regarding your genitalia: you should express yourself freely and not deny yourself a degree of the impulses you feel, but never at the expense of others or your overall sense of self or productivity.
13. Humility
“Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”
Don’t be pedantic; it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re a Christian or philosophical scholar, you know what it means to be Humble in comparison to Jesus and Socrates. I look at an example from each of these figures as inspirations for how to be Humble.
Let me be clear: I was raised Christian but am no longer. However, I do see a value in the Jefferson Bible, which is a document in which Thomas Jefferson removed all instances of the ‘supernatural’ from the New Testament. Even when reducing Jesus to a simple figure in a simple story, I think he serves as a good example of Humility. My thoughts usually gravitate toward Jesus choosing to enter Jerusalem on a lowly donkey rather than something more befitting of the “King of Israel” riding into such an important place for the first time.
As for Socrates, one only needs to look in Plato’s Apology and open to any random page for a display of Humility. The most clear and poignant instance is likely found when the Oracle of Delphi tells that there is no wiser man than Socrates, a fact that astounds Socrates himself. The Oracle was not capable of lying but Socrates knew that he was not wise. Socrates was on trial, with his life at stake, so he searched for a man wiser than he. Though he occasionally found ‘genius’, none were ‘wise’ because each of them declared themselves to be very wise, an impossibility considering that wisdom is measured in Humility.
Humility week is always ‘fun’ for me. I’m not a masochist but I do consider ‘love’ to be the only measurable resource when it comes to the ‘purpose’ or meaning of life, and that love is only really possible when humbling or submitting yourself to the service or aid of another.
Jesus washing his disciples’ feet was always another very strong example of Humility to me, consider the ways in which you can wash another’s toesy-wosies throughout your day. You don’t always need to literally do something either, sometimes the lack of a reaction can be an act of Humility (be careful of becoming too stoic though, it’s not virtuous to lack conviction).
Week 66 — Humility — Day 4
I did just fine today, thank you very much. Taking responsibility I didn’t need to and eating humble pie all day. (redacted) and (redacted) don’t communicate, therefore I need to apologize for the apparent confusion my arrival brings. I didn’t bring cash to a cash-only restaurant so I had to crawl on the floor like a little dog, trying to figure it all out without speaking any of the language. Oof. I don’t think I embody humility inherently but yes, today I was quite humble.
I don’t have a ‘favorite’ virtue but if I did it would likely be Humility because it’s nothing more than encouragement to make your mistakes into jokes. One doesn’t have to lower themself or whip themself in the same way that the other virtues might require, Humility simply teaches you to smile-smile-smile.
I have a nasty ego and it can be a bit ferocious, sure, but I don’t struggle with Humility at all because my general worldview is rooted in it. I think there’s nothing really present in the universe but chaos, with not one thing existing for any particular ‘reason.’ Therefore, ‘love’ is the only real conscious and purposeful energy/act/spirit/resource/whatever. So when something needlessly damaging or confusingly unfortunate might happen to me, through the direct action of another or the randomness of the world, it’s really not that difficult to frame it as, “Well, literally everything in the entire universe is subject to entropy, and therefore is some degree of pointless and absurd, so I’m not exactly sure why I would be any different” and then make a fart sound and dance across the crosswalk.
Humility is the act of flattening life’s peaks and canyons into a flat line. Nothing in life has any inherent meaning, other than that which you create in your reaction.
Measuring Your Successes and Failures
The reason why so many diet, self-help, and ‘reinvention’ routines fail is because they lack enforcement mechanisms. Yes, you should ‘love’ yourself, of course, but if you don’t give yourself a reason or even a punishment/repercussion then you will severely struggle to find the discipline required for true self-improvement. Self-love is fine, but don’t ever be nice to yourself.
Following these Franklin Virtues is quite easy. In a journal or document on your computer, start with Temperance on a Sunday. Pay attention to your behavior throughout the day, then note whether you did well or not at night. Do that seven times, then move on to the next virtue. When you’ve finished all thirteen, start over again. You can put new virtues in your rotation too, or get rid of some others. You won’t really notice the changes to your life, it’s a very obscure process, but slowly and surely your life will take on a different sense of stability and ‘perfection,’ but only the perfection you seek and have the motivation to seek.
You only have to measure one virtue a week, but you’ll slowly begin to become more mindful of the others each day as well. Maybe this is a Frugality week but you’ve learned to be a bit more attentive toward Justice. What works best for me is to tie two different virtues together, so that one can enforce another. For example, I was dating a young woman at a time when I needed to write constantly and consistently. So I basically bound Chastity and Industry together: no sex unless you get your pages done. I don’t like to leave a lover longing, so my page counts certainly found themselves fulfilled.
But don’t fly too close to the sun. There was a period this summer where I, a mortal attempting to grasp the divine, thought, “I’ve done this for two years now, I’m pretty good, why don’t I just measure all thirteen virtues every day?” Maybe you have the power to accomplish such ‘perfection’ but it drove me absolutely insane.
“I can’t eat too much, or talk too much, I have to plan everything and then do it, but without spending money or wasting time, everything I do has to be completely nice and true, but I can’t do too much of any one thing, while taking care to keep things clean and calm, but without as much sex as I’d want because I need to be like Jesus?
…Yeah, no thanks. Check please.”
Benjamin Franklin certainly wasn’t ‘successful’ in becoming a ‘perfect’ man, not by the standards of his day nor ours, but he endures as an aspirational figure for all times due to his commitment toward improvement.
One can only stay true to their morals, ethics, and virtues through constant measurement and definition of their values. Just as Socrates learned: can you be a good person without striving for improvement or is progression inherent in goodness? I would argue the latter: life becomes meaningless without the pursuit of honor and integrity (this piece has been a paid advertisement for Tyson® Grilled-And-Ready® Chicken Tenders).
Jesse Stewart is an American filmmaker, writer, and varied-virtue-voicer for Epocene Motion Picture Company.
